How to Sheep! Shearing!.

The sheep need to be sheared once a year at the beginning of summer. Norm did not shear them himself but hired someone to do the shearing every year. He gave me the number and suggested I do the same. The first summer that I was to manage shearing the person who had been doing it was not available. I tried to find someone else to come out which is difficult for only 4 sheep. Professional shearers want to travel for 20, 30, 100 sheep to make it worth their trip, not 4. I could not find anyone to come and western Oregon was about to experience a “heat dome” where the temperature was predicted to be in the triple digits which is unusual for this area.

I was beside myself with worry that our sheep would die in the heat if I didn’t get them sheared. I couldn’t find anyone to come so I thought…”how hard could it be?” I started watching YouTube videos and I watched a great movie called “She Shears” about women in New Zealand who compete against men for the “Golden Shears” trophy, because there is no ladies division. I convinced myself that I could shear them myself. For reference, the sheep in the movies and on the You Tube tutorials are the little standard white sheep with no horns. Not exactly the same sheep that we have. The 2 female Jacob’s likely weigh about 110 lbs. and the 2 male (neutered) Icelandic crosses likely weigh 200-250 lbs. I weigh 140 lbs…place your bets!

I went to my local farm supply store and purchased equipment. I got electric clippers and I also got hand clippers. The workers I spoke to knew right away that I was a greenhorn. One of them said “come back and let us know how it goes” the other said “take a video, please take a video!” Sadly during this whole time frame I was too overwhelmed to worry about videos or even photos so all I have are these memories.

The next day it was decided that Stella and I would work as a team to shear the sheep. We would drive them up to the corral and close the gate so they would be contained in a smaller area. I would wrestle the sheep and then Stella would hand me the shears when I got them in position. I decided to go with the hand shears because I was too daunted by the clippers and the corral was pretty far from electricity. We planned it all out and had enough time before Stella had other obligations in town. We drove all the sheep into the corral no problem and closed the gate. Success!

As soon as the sheep realized that they were trapped the 2 big males charged the fence and fairly easily knocked it over! All the sheep then just ran out into the larger pasture. It was too big of an area to chase them and now they were spooked. So, while Stella prepared to leave for town we formulated “plan B” I put the shears in a backpack with a water bottle and I followed them in the pasture. I actually said, “I’ll just keep following them and eventually they will get tired and I will jump on them like a panther and shear them in the field” it was the best plan B I could come up with and the heat dome was coming.

I followed them for hours and the minute I would get close to them they would effortlessly outrun me. I decided to leverage their natural curiosity. I sat down in the shade and ignored them. I scrolled through my phone as if it was the most compelling thing in the field, maybe even the world. It was a hot day and they also wanted the shade. Even more than that, they wanted to know what Kim Kardashian was wearing today. They inched closer trying to see what I was doing. I could see Mama Sheep’s leg within striking distance in my peripheral vision. At the same time I dropped my phone and reached out and grabbed her leg. I got her!

I was surprised by her speed and strength. She dragged me on the ground for about 30 feet but by this time I was over 7 hours in on this project and I still had 4 sheep to shear so I didn’t let go. I’m not really sure how I got my feet under me and wrestled her down. I did it though. I got her in shearing position on her back with her head between my knees. I reached in my backpack and whipped out my shears. Who knew they did not come presharpened out of the package?!? Are you kidding me?!!!

I worked so hard trying to use those dull shears to cut a tuft of wool here and there. Just then I heard Stella return from town coming up the drive. Stella saw me in the field and yelled out the window, “She Shears!!” I yelled back, “Help! Bring the kitchen scissors!” Stella parked and got the scissors and ran down the hill. (I know! Running with scissors is a bad idea. Don’t try this at home. I know it says “how to sheep” in the title but this is not actually a tutorial!)

Stella arrived with scissors and by this time I had been holding Mama sheep down for about 15 minutes. For reference the women from New Zealand in the Golden Shears competition shear a whole sheep in under 4 minutes! My legs were shaking and we were both clipping as fast as we could with the kitchen scissors and the dull shears. We managed to get one side of her very choppily clipped. I said to Stella, “I’m losing my legs” to which Stella replied wide eyed, “what does that mean?” I said, “it means the next time she really struggles I’m not going to be able to hold her, I’ll say NOW and we will both jump back and let her go” almost on cue Mama started to kick and struggle. “Now!” We let her go. She ran off and the other sheep all sniffed at her and gave me the stink eye while I lay in the grass trying not to vomit.

The next day my legs were muscularly sore but also covered in bruises from gripping Mamas horns but I was bound and determined to shear those sheep. Stella sharpened the shears and made me promise not to try and shear the sheep by myself. I value keeping my word with people that I love and respect so I am not proud of what happened next. It was just such a unique opportunity and the projected heat dome was expected to arrive in less than 2 days. No one else was home and it did seem like a life or death matter to me.

The gate to the garden by the house was left open and Mama Sheep was in there eating Stella’s tomatoes. if I could slip around the back and close the gate she would be trapped in a small area and I could catch her and I already knew I could get her in shearing position, I had done it once. In retrospect I may have been over confident. I put on the backpack with the sharpened shears and snuck around and closed the gate.

I cornered her between the fence and the side of the house. I was looking at her horns and trying to get over her to get a good angle to grab them when she did what I never expected. She put her head down and charged me. She hit me just below the knee like a Mama Sheep bowling ball and just like a tall tottering bowling pin I went flying. My head hit the side of the house then I slid down the surprisingly scratchy wood siding, ripping the skin off of my nose and face. Then my knees hit the gravel and I stopped. I was stunned and saw stars. I wasn’t sure how badly I was hurt, just that blood was dripping from my face.

Mama turned to face me and was pawing her foot and bobbing her head at me like, “you wanna go some more?” I lowered my eyes from her and said “no ma’am , I just want to carefully sneak past you and open yonder gate.” Which is what I did before I went in the house and washed my face. I spent the rest of the evening lying in bed scrolling through tranquilizer gun listings. You can buy a tranquilizer gun on Amazon for $650. Medication sold separately. I didn’t have time. One day left until the heat dome.

My family was mad at me.

First thing the next morning I went back to the farm supply store. This was during early Covid so masks were still required which I appreciated because half of my face was now a scab. The goose egg on my forehead was clearly visible though. I walked back to the livestock section and asked if they carried tranquilizer guns. The clerk I spoke to just looked vaguely afraid and shook her head no. The other person working remembered me from buying the clippers and gave me a couple phone numbers of livestock veterinarians in the area. He said maybe they would have resources to help me.

I called the veterinarian closest to me and I said, “I need you to come to my house and tranquilize my sheep so I can shear them before the heat comes.” Then I disjointedly blathered out much of the previous story very quickly. She said, “No, just no. No veterinarian would do that for a number of reasons. You need to let go of the idea that you are going to get your sheep sheared today. You need to stop chasing them around trying to shear them because you are probably stressing them out and you are OBVIOUSLY stressing yourself out. You need to build a proper corral to contain them and you need to call a professional shearer. Make sure they have water and shade and your sheep will probably be ok.”

They were ok in the heat. It reached 116 degrees Fahrenheit in the closest town. The heat lasted for 3 days and passed.

I built a corral and called Johnny who now comes every year.

I might give shearing another shot this summer. Mama hurt her foot last year and I had to wrestle her down and clean and inspect her foot, she’s fine. So, we are 2 to 1 now. I think that makes me the champion clearly. Plus I can easily catch the sheep now…snacks.

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